Friday, July 16, 2010

Thor The Conqueror - Tonino Ricci Rages and Rushes a Barbarian

Tonino Ricci is easily one of the great low budget directors of Italian genre schlock that ever walked.  Now, I'm not advocating for the guy, I leave that to my irresistible lust for the cinema of Alfonso Brescia, but he does have a certain charm to his films.  Thor The Conqueror has little in the way of plot, logic or political correctness, but it does have a lot to give the Barbarian completest.  Thor is a played with little expression by Conrad Nichols (Bruno Mininti) and follows our hero, who is a complete dolt by the way, as he is guided by a truly he-man woman hating owl mystic that never shuts up. Hell, that owl man actually promises to die early in the film...never does.   I guess they forgot that part of the script as they went along.

But what it does offer us, is a bunch of entertaining action scenes, a use of music that may actually be the worst I've heard from a Ricci film, Malisa Longo (always welcome) and a "full blooded" attitude that would make Manning Lee Stokes say "tone it down a bit man..." if he heard it.  When Thor first meets a woman his Owl Guide tells him to "Lie her down, play with her, for what else is she good for?"  Needless to say, a horde of evil barbarians burst in on Thor learning about women (?) and kill her immediately.  Thankfully for Thor, there are women to hear lamentations from and bad guys to slay.  Not a good film, but a very special entry in to a genre I really enjoy. The NeoPeplum will always hold a special place in my heart. 

Besides...any film that gives Jess Franco's CANNIBALS a run for the least impressive cannibal tribe ever shown on screen is GREAT to me. Not sarcasm folks, I love some bad cannibals!


  1. Sounds like a classic!

  2. I watched this the other week. I had never heard of it until seeing you mention it. I am glad I saw it. It's definitely not a great movie, but I did enjoy it.

  3. I agree, not a classic but some awesome Eurotrash Cinema. "Lie her with her." is perhaps one of the best samples I wish I had a use for.